How To Make New Friends To Improve Your Health
Do feel lonely at times? Would you like to have more connections and friends in your life?
This blog will give you practical tips to help make new friends and also teach you how doing so can be good for your health.
Despite our digital connections, now days we can feel more isolated than ever and as adults find it hard to make new friends. Of course, some of this has to do with changing jobs, getting married, moving, and even having children. For defence members, first responders and family members this can be due to moving locations due to new postings. Also, for those who have served in the military or emergency services, once you have left service life you may lose those connections and friends you previously had.
Meeting people and forging friendships later in life doesn’t always come so easily - but loneliness isn’t inevitable.
“A friend may be waiting behind a stranger’s face.” ― Maya Angelou
9 Practical Tips to Help You Make New Friends:
Deepen your casual connections:
The co-worker you eat lunch with?
The barista you talk to about your favourite podcast every morning?
The friend of a friend you seem to have a lot in common with?
ALL potential friends!
If you’re looking to make friends in your 20s, 30s, 40s and beyond, look no further than your current acquaintances. If there are people already in your life that you’d like to make friends with, invest in those relationships and make an effort to deepen those connections.
2. Set small goals for more interaction:
Instead of immediately trying to forge new friendships, you might start by setting smaller goals to build your confidence and then taking small steps towards them.
Small goals to consider include:
Smiling at a stranger
Exchanging pleasantries with the cashier at the grocery store
Making eye contact and waving at a neighbour
Texting a current acquaintance or friend to say hi
3. Get confident starting conversations with new people:
Talking to someone new can be daunting for anyone. One minute you’re discussing the weather, and the next, you’re looking at your feet or scanning the room for someone you know.
If small talk with strangers isn’t your strong suit, try these tips:
Open with a compliment – Complimenting someone on their clothing or accessories can be a great way to break the ice and start a conversation. There might be an interesting story behind their funky scarf or shoes.
Keep notes of conversation starters – Does your mind go blank when you’re in social situations? It can help to keep some conversation topics handy in your bag or phone in case you get stuck. This might include relevant news stories or the TV series you’re currently bingeing.
Circle back to something they said earlier – When all else fails, try circling back to something they’ve already spoken about. Ask questions to explore the topic deeper. Chances are if they originally brought it up, they’ll be interested in discussing it further.
Ask them questions – one of the best ways to keep a conversation going is to ask questions. Ask them open-ended questions about themselves and take a sincere interest in them. If you have talked to them before and they happened to mention something they were interested in, ask a follow-up question about it. Check our some suggestions below.
4. Show interest - ask questions:
A friendship is about both you and the other person. Get to know the person as an individual.
Here are some questions to consider:
What do they do?
What are their hobbies?
What have they been up to recently?
What are their upcoming priorities/goals?
What do they value the most?
What are their values?
What motivates/drives them?
What are their passions in life? Goals? Dreams?
5. Say Yes to invitations:
As you meet new people, focus on both saying yes to accepting invitations to meet, and arranging plans to spend time with others. So, don't hesitate to say yes, which helps show that you're keen to meet and make the effort to strengthen the relationship.
6. Meet new people who share your interests:
In order to find potential friends, you need to look for opportunities to get to know new people. When looking for potential friends, the best places to start are also the easiest—your interests.
You do not have to have everything in common with someone to become friends; however, having a few things in common can be useful when you are looking to make friends. This could be anything from social tennis at your local courts to a book club at your local library. The best part is, you already know you have something in common to talk about, so striking up a conversation shouldn’t be too hard.
Some ways to find others who share your interests could include:
Volunteer
Take a class
Join a team or a club
Walk your dog
Help out at local businesses
Explore your town more
Buddy Up Australia runs regular fitness, social and purposeful volunteering activities where you can meet new people with shared interests and make new connections and friends. We have chapters located around Australia. Join HERE.
7. Join Facebook groups based on your interests:
Facebook groups and online forums are other great ways to connect with like-minded people. Here, you can get involved in discussions on just about any niche you can think of. It can also provide the opportunity to meet other group members in person – just remember to be safe when meeting up with people you’ve met online.
You can join your local Buddy Up Chapter Facebook Group to get connected. Buddy Up is also planning to launch a Virtual Chapter in the near future, helping members connect anywhere across Australia. Join as a member to stay up to date.
8. Stay in touch:
Once you have begun to form friendships, it is important to stay in touch. Make sure to get contact information for the people that you meet, whether it's their phone number or a link to their social media page.
At the end of the day, continual effort is required to maintain friendships. Ask your friends out every once in a while. Depending on the intensity of the friendship, there’s no need to meet up every few days or once a week — catching up once a month or once every few months might be enough. The strength of your relationship is not measured by how frequently you meet.
9. Be yourself:
Just be yourself. That way, potential new friends will know you as you, and they’ll use that to decide if they want to take the friendship a step further. It’s all about being you. The truest friendships are built with both parties accepting each other for who they are.
Meet new people and make new friends with Buddy Up:
We run regular fitness, social and volunteering events in our Chapters located across Australia. We offer free lifetime membership to current and ex-serving defence members, first responders and their families, and a $49 a year membership for supporters who aren’t affiliated with defence or emergency services.
Membership gives you access to free or subsided Buddy Up events. This is a perfect way to meet new like-minded people and make new friends!
Give us a go! Join us.
It’s quality over quantity
Quality counts more than quantity when it comes to friendships. While it may be good to cultivate a diverse network of friends and acquaintances, you may feel a greater sense of belonging and well-being by nurturing close, meaningful relationships that will support you through thick and thin.
How making social connections is good for your physical and mental health:
Did you know that having social connections can actually help you live longer?
It’s proven that humans are hardwired to connect and social connections are an essential part of good health and well-being — we need them to survive and thrive, just like we need food, water and oxygen.
Brene Brown, Professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, says “A deep sense of love and belonging is an irresistible need of all people. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong. When those needs are not met, we don't function as we were meant to. We break. We fall apart. We numb. We ache. We hurt others. We get sick.”
It may be harder to form meaningful relationships as you get older, but it's well worth the effort. Good friendships have many health benefits, including:
Better immune functioning and blood pressure
Decreased risk of disease, illness, and injury
Reduced stress
Speedier recovery when sick
Making social connections and having friends can actually help you live longer. A study found that those people with stronger social relationships had a 50% higher chance of survival over an average of 7.5 years than those without. Find out more HERE.
Social isolation and loneliness have negative health impacts on par with obesity, physical inactivity, and smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Check out details HERE.
Loneliness has a wide range of negative effects on both physical and mental health including:
Alcohol and drug misuse
Altered brain function
Alzheimer's disease progression
Antisocial behaviour
Cardiovascular disease and stroke5
Decreased memory and learning
Depression and suicide
Increased stress levels
Poor decision-making
Details HERE:
However, embarking on friendships as an adult can be terrifying, exciting, rewarding and challenging. Nothing can replace the special connections you have with those who have known you over the years, but taking that leap of faith and implementing the tips mentioned earlier can get the ball rolling on forming new friendships and thus, improving your health.
Developing and maintaining good friendships takes effort. The enjoyment and comfort friendship can provide, however, makes the effort worthwhile.
What our members say:
“I’m an Army veteran and I suffer from depression, anxiety and PTSD. Before I got involved with Buddy Up, I lost a lot of my connections from my life in the Army and was feeling quite lonely.
I’ve made new friends through Buddy Up who have become like family – and they’re friends who have my back. I’ve also got to try new activities I would have never given a go before.
My involvement with Buddy Up has greatly helped to improve my mental well-being and given me a brighter outlook on life.
I feel I am supported by Buddy Up and I can be my real true authentic self with them – I don’t have to pretend. Buddy Up volunteers and members are veterans, first responders and family too so they just get me.” (QLD Buddy Up member)
Join us as a member to build new social connections and make new friends with us.